The Hiding Place

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Ready or not, here I come!


Awaiting in the dark, sitting in the silence, not knowing when the light was going to creep in. To come out would mean to risk losing the game. Oh, how unimaginable that would be! No, not me. I'm in it to win it. 

The hiding was easy. Just to sit and let my mind go wherever it wanted - whether it be into battle or in a fairytale yet to come true. I could be and do what I wanted while hiding. I thought for so long it was just a "childish game" but to be honest it was one of my favorites. It was so much more than "hiding"; it was a new adventure every time. Then one day I realized the truth, I was still playing a game of Hide and Seek.

My life had become one 19 year long game. I had conquered the hiding. I was unaware of just how successful I had actually become. I could hide in plain sight without meaning to or really wanting to; I could hide from family and friends, all the while being "seen".

I decided 19 years was long enough. My life was not meant to be a game played but so much more. The process of coming out of my hiding place meant quite a lot of risk, in all actuality. It wasn't just a "get up, open the door and walk out." I must first take into consideration the simple light factor; take a breathe, let the eyes adjust and move forward. Then there is the vulnerability and openness; no longer encapsulated by walls, all "surroundings" are lost and un-comfortability sets in. The last thing - this means the end of the game.

"The End." How often we think that is all there is. We are so quick to forget that what follows "the end" is another beginning. We get so caught up in the losing that we forget the gain. The only reason fairytales end in "and the lived happily ever after..." is because the kids have to go to sleep sometime. The true end for me, would have been staying where I was. I had to be bigger than where I was. I had to accept that I could have stayed, and I would have gone through life being... fine. I would have "succeeded" in all definitions of the word - except for mine. I could have lived life as I was, but it wouldn't have been to my standard. I would have always wanted more and wondered "what if". That, to me, is the ultimate definition of 'unacceptable' and so, I stood up and walked on out of my oh so comfortable hiding place.

While I know that staying would have been easier, I know that this is better. I know that this is right. I know that this is true success.