Well, it's Christmas - which let's me know that the year is almost over. In looking back on 2011, it's really been quite a good year. It's hasn't been without it's hardships but it's proving to all be worth it. Just in looking back on my blogs since this summer I can see a growth, a change. I'm ending 2011 with a good attitude. 2012 will be bright and full of opportunity. It will be bright because of my positioning and alignment. I know who I am - or at least I have a pretty good idea. ;)
I think as we go into this next year, attitude is important. Attitude is something that can help us through or hold us back. Negative attitudes have no good purpose. Bad days happen but we don't have to allow circumstances to determine our attitude and outlook. Life is hard enough on its own - we don't need to make it any harder. That's really all that bad attitudes do. Their purpose is to hold us back and get in our way. As much as I like challenges, life gives me enough on its own, it doesn't need any help.
It's late. I'm going to bed. I can't write anymore. I can't really think anymore.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night. :]
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Let's be honest.
I found myself in a conversation with someone today and I can't say it was the prettiest conversation that I've ever had... But it was necessary. Even if the other party doesn't realize it. I'm still a little irked about the situation. It's not affecting my day to day, but it is making me look at things differently.
The situation: I've known this guy for a few years now, and at one point we were fairly good friends. He moved out of state some time this year and has recently found himself fired and with unpleasant living conditions, to say the least. I got a message from him saying he was trying to get enough money to come back home. Long story short, after talking to him today he was $20 short and had a crappy attitude. Now, obviously he's not in the most pleasant of situations; as I told him today though, having a bad perspective doesn't help anything. He didn't really like that. What he doesn't know is that I was thinking about sending him the last $20, but due to his attitude, I decided not to. I decided he had to do something for himself.
I'm not down for a pity ride. That's what I felt like was going on. I tried to bring some light to the situation and it was refused, really. It's his choice, it's on him.
He said this to me,"I'm sick of failing." Instantly, I thought "If you never follow through with anything, if you always give up when you're almost there, all you'll ever do is fail."
I'm not friends with quitters. I'm not friends with people who give up on the last stretch. So let's be honest here, grow a pair before you get a hold of me again. I don't need people in my life who refuse to see beauty, and refuse to appreciate what they do have, only seeing what they don't. If that's what holds you back, I don't want you around me.
Mark this as judgement. I'm done trying to soften what I say. I'm done beating around the bush. Let's just be honest, because I'm done with everything else.
The situation: I've known this guy for a few years now, and at one point we were fairly good friends. He moved out of state some time this year and has recently found himself fired and with unpleasant living conditions, to say the least. I got a message from him saying he was trying to get enough money to come back home. Long story short, after talking to him today he was $20 short and had a crappy attitude. Now, obviously he's not in the most pleasant of situations; as I told him today though, having a bad perspective doesn't help anything. He didn't really like that. What he doesn't know is that I was thinking about sending him the last $20, but due to his attitude, I decided not to. I decided he had to do something for himself.
I'm not down for a pity ride. That's what I felt like was going on. I tried to bring some light to the situation and it was refused, really. It's his choice, it's on him.
He said this to me,"I'm sick of failing." Instantly, I thought "If you never follow through with anything, if you always give up when you're almost there, all you'll ever do is fail."
I'm not friends with quitters. I'm not friends with people who give up on the last stretch. So let's be honest here, grow a pair before you get a hold of me again. I don't need people in my life who refuse to see beauty, and refuse to appreciate what they do have, only seeing what they don't. If that's what holds you back, I don't want you around me.
Mark this as judgement. I'm done trying to soften what I say. I'm done beating around the bush. Let's just be honest, because I'm done with everything else.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Simplicity.
So, to be perfectly honest I really don't know what to blog about today. I thought about the lovely - you're only young once - lesson that seems to keep coming up in my day to day life, but when I started that blog, it didn't go very far. It was much better in my head than actualized and thus, I erased what I had started. Now, I am starting over... only in today's society can I do that.
I've been finding myself faced with quite a few decisions lately. What do I allow to effect me? What do I not? Who do I give second chances to, likewise, who do I not? Yes or no? I mean, really conceptually, this whole thing is simple. The meaning to life is really simple. The complexity in anything lies in the simplicity. "It CAN'T be that easy."
Oh, but that's the beauty of it. It IS that easy. Human nature is to over-complicate things. If we just did and stopped thinking, we'd be a lot better off. My darkest times are the times I spend in my head.
I wrote down the following one day: It's what doesn't exist that will always win.
I struggled with that statement a little bit, but had the revelation one day of its truth. It wins because of the endless opportunity and the sheer possibility that it COULD. We've shoved everything that we "know" so far into a box that there's no way it can.
I remember reading The Little Engine That Could and thinking "That's so cool! He believed in himself." Somewhere along the way I realized that if he hadn't believed in himself, no one else ever would have. That epiphany changed a lot of how I think. Of course, I don't always think that is the case, because God knows that there were times in my life that if someone else hadn't believed in me, I never would have. I think that there is a lot of give and take and that once you have someone who can show you how to believe in you, it becomes your job to believe in yourself. It's that simple. Believe in you.
I've been finding myself faced with quite a few decisions lately. What do I allow to effect me? What do I not? Who do I give second chances to, likewise, who do I not? Yes or no? I mean, really conceptually, this whole thing is simple. The meaning to life is really simple. The complexity in anything lies in the simplicity. "It CAN'T be that easy."
Oh, but that's the beauty of it. It IS that easy. Human nature is to over-complicate things. If we just did and stopped thinking, we'd be a lot better off. My darkest times are the times I spend in my head.
I wrote down the following one day: It's what doesn't exist that will always win.
I struggled with that statement a little bit, but had the revelation one day of its truth. It wins because of the endless opportunity and the sheer possibility that it COULD. We've shoved everything that we "know" so far into a box that there's no way it can.
I remember reading The Little Engine That Could and thinking "That's so cool! He believed in himself." Somewhere along the way I realized that if he hadn't believed in himself, no one else ever would have. That epiphany changed a lot of how I think. Of course, I don't always think that is the case, because God knows that there were times in my life that if someone else hadn't believed in me, I never would have. I think that there is a lot of give and take and that once you have someone who can show you how to believe in you, it becomes your job to believe in yourself. It's that simple. Believe in you.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
A Reminder
I've been finding lately, that I've had to remind myself that I'm only 19. Oh good God, I'm only nineteen... I guess my "growing up" mentality hasn't quite gone away yet! When I was little, (I don't really remember but I'll take my dad's word on it) my dad would tell me "Sometimes you have to remind me that you're only ____ years old."
It's funny how those childhood lessons haven't really left me alone. Maybe I just think about it and realize it more now, due to my nephew but hey, it'll work:) - for any reason. I have now referenced quite a few childhood thoughts/games as I think it should be for now. Too often childhood is looked upon as 'immaturity.' I challenge that thought. Some of the hardest lessons I've had in life are what I would consider 'adolescent' lessons.
Not all of our 'growing up stage' is bad. It's our perspective of how it 'could have been' as we get older that messes it up. I know I'm getting over this whole 'what if' thing in life. "What if" doesn't matter. What IS does. Sometimes - as my sister said today - you gotta work with what you have. You won't get new things until you learn to appreciate what you do have.
I've always disagreed with the phrase: you don't know what you have 'til it's gone. Why of course I do! If I have a camera I don't realize it's a camera AFTER I sell it. I have a dog laying beside my chair right now. I don't need anyone else to tell me he's there. And I can tell you NOW the characteristics in this dog and what I love about him and what irritates me about ole Moosers. I don't have to wait until he's dead for that. Only a lazy person "doesn't know what they have until it's gone" because only a lazy person wouldn't take the time to look and acknowledge while that thing is there.
You can call it what you want... But in the end it's spelled the same way. Maybe I'm being a little harsh at the moment but.... I'm 19 and I get this concept. Offended yet? I hope not. That's not my intention but I won't fight it either. Offense happens, but it doesn't have to have power over you.
I've disagreed with a lot of things and a lot of people but I don't usually allow offense to decide if I still have relationship with a person. Just like I'm only 19, we are all only humans. I guess I say all this to say there are times to be hard on oneself and there are times to be merciful. I, personally, am still working on the merciful part. Being hard on myself I can do.
So remember this, you're only ___ years old and you're only human - but that doesn't allow you to be lazy.
It's funny how those childhood lessons haven't really left me alone. Maybe I just think about it and realize it more now, due to my nephew but hey, it'll work:) - for any reason. I have now referenced quite a few childhood thoughts/games as I think it should be for now. Too often childhood is looked upon as 'immaturity.' I challenge that thought. Some of the hardest lessons I've had in life are what I would consider 'adolescent' lessons.
Not all of our 'growing up stage' is bad. It's our perspective of how it 'could have been' as we get older that messes it up. I know I'm getting over this whole 'what if' thing in life. "What if" doesn't matter. What IS does. Sometimes - as my sister said today - you gotta work with what you have. You won't get new things until you learn to appreciate what you do have.
I've always disagreed with the phrase: you don't know what you have 'til it's gone. Why of course I do! If I have a camera I don't realize it's a camera AFTER I sell it. I have a dog laying beside my chair right now. I don't need anyone else to tell me he's there. And I can tell you NOW the characteristics in this dog and what I love about him and what irritates me about ole Moosers. I don't have to wait until he's dead for that. Only a lazy person "doesn't know what they have until it's gone" because only a lazy person wouldn't take the time to look and acknowledge while that thing is there.
You can call it what you want... But in the end it's spelled the same way. Maybe I'm being a little harsh at the moment but.... I'm 19 and I get this concept. Offended yet? I hope not. That's not my intention but I won't fight it either. Offense happens, but it doesn't have to have power over you.
I've disagreed with a lot of things and a lot of people but I don't usually allow offense to decide if I still have relationship with a person. Just like I'm only 19, we are all only humans. I guess I say all this to say there are times to be hard on oneself and there are times to be merciful. I, personally, am still working on the merciful part. Being hard on myself I can do.
So remember this, you're only ___ years old and you're only human - but that doesn't allow you to be lazy.
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