The End of the Road

When one thing ends we often forget that allows another thing to begin. If something never ended, well I don't know how much we would really appreciate it. The ending of a thing is both hard and beautiful. The ending of a relationship - possibly very necessary, possibly very unwanted, but it happens. I've learned that the ending of every relationship allows the opportunity for something else. Both parties walk away learning from the experience. So much of life's 'endings' are affected by our attitude. They go as well or as bad as we want them to... or we let them. We all have things that we try to hold on to even after the time has passed.

There's a time for everything. And I've had a lot of endings lately. Well, I've had a lot of endings in my life too. I can't say I'm fully good with them but I've learned that they aren't the end of the world. :) Life goes on. The world keeps spinning. Life is difficult enough as it is. And we, as humans, make it so much more complicated that it has to be. We over think things, we hold on too tight, we push away too hard and we try to do too much on our own.

I am a very independent person. And I've gotten over the fact that I can't do everything by myself. Sometimes I do need help. Sometimes I do need company. And quite honestly, I enjoy people being in my life. I enjoy including people in my life. This weekend, I cooked a meal for two of the most important people to me. I didn't need to do it. I didn't have to do it. I wanted to. I wanted to include these two people into a certain part of my life. So I did, and everything was perfect. I couldn't have imagined a better beginning to the end of something.

"That's What's Important"

Over the past week or so, I've found myself saying "That's what's important." I realized that every time I've said that, it's been over rather ridiculous stuff - things that really aren't important. The things that are most important in life (well my life anyway) aren't objects or activities but people. YOU are what is important. I've figured out that if you aren't important to yourself, it's hard for other people to make you important to them. If you don't love or respect yourself, how can you expect someone to love or respect you?  

Growing up, I heard "You get what you give." While I think this is true, you can't give what you don't have. It's a basic of life. Just like what goes up, must come down. I've seen so many people who hate themselves. It's a pretty common thing these days, but it's one of the most tragic as well. I, personally, have been on both sides of the fence. I think the real trick to life, is being ale to see yourself for all that you are. And with that, you can do anything. 

As a society we are so contradicting. We start off telling our kids lies and then wonder why they don't trust us later in life. Well, who was it who told them that Santa, the Tooth Fairy, or Spiderman was real? "But it's all in good fun, Paige." Yeah, I'll say the same to you when you're kid says he/she doesn't believe in a god. I'm not meaning to come off as rude here, but I think it's about time that as a society and culture, we realize the impact of our words - or lack there of. In the words of my dad, there is someone looking up to you. Whether you like it or not. I have decided, that I want to make sure someone can look up to me and not be ashamed of what they see. 

I was honored by a guy at work today. He was an older gentlemen, wearing scrubs and had a stethoscope around his neck. Since I was in front of him, I opened the door and held it for him, as I would normally do. He looked at me and said "Oh no, chivalry won't allow that." He held the door and let me go through first. While most people might think, "Well, that's what he's supposed to do" I don't. I try to show an older generation some respect and normally, that's not the response I get. I don't see many people my age, do what I do. Nor do I fully expect them to. Us "kids" have seen enough of what we don't want to be that we'll do just about anything to not end up like the people before us. That's an error on our part. If you can't find ONE good thing about the people who are, let's say 70 and up, then I don't think you're looking hard enough. And if you still can't find ONE thing about ONE person, than maybe you should see if you can find one good thing about yourself. 

This is in part meant to be, at least slightly, motivational. But if nothing else - walk away from this looking at people in just a little bit of a different way. I work with A LOT of people who are at least twice my age. While I think most of them look at me like I'm still just a kid, I can pretty much guarantee you that they haven't met anyone like me yet. They've got a lot to learn, because 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks' is just a lazy excuse. If you get a challenge out of this - than I did my job well. :)

Lost In Mind

Lost in my mind, lost in my thoughts. I never know where Life will take me next. One thought through my mind and I'm on to the next. Some linger a little longer than others. What's got me so quiet? Life. I don't know where I'm going and I don't know when I'll get there. But when I do, I'll know. I'm looking through what's in front of me and not quite sure how to get to the other side. Explosions won't work... Nor will guns. Now what? I know how to break things down. I know how to kick things over. But what happens when you're talking about the future? You can't just break the future down or kick it over. I feel like I need to be strategic about this... Methodical. Like a game of Chess. And something tells me I don't want to have my opponent be the one to say "check mate." Taking my time and being patient is painful for me. I want to be proactive. I want to at least FEEL like I'm doing something with my life. Like I'm grabbing the Bull by the horns. Sometimes though, you have to take a step back and reassess the situation before fully knowing what to do. Well... I'm stepping back. I need a clear head on my shoulders. This is my future I'm dealing with. That's some heavy stuff. It's my decision as to what to do with it. And having that kind of responsibility for myself... well, it just doesn't seem like something to be taken lightly. I can screw up a whole lot of ways. Unfortunately, I see very few ways of not messing something up. I guess that's why I have people in my life I can count on. Because no matter what, I know there are certain people who will look at me and say "Paige, that's just dumb." That's what I like about them though. Brutal honesty. I can take it. And if I can take that, can't I take anything that Life wants to throw at me? Including my future? You bet your bottom dollar. :)

Firsts

We all have our firsts... first step, first love, first kiss. Well, this is my first blog post. Bear with me everyone.

It's always intense when your thoughts and feelings are posted where everyone can see them. Facebook (in my belief) has so dulled this. Due to Facebook and Twitter we lose sight of just how private our thoughts actually are. We think "Well I can vent on Facebook." NO. We just tolerate you venting on Facebook. Chances are, we've already blocked you from our newsfeed anyway. And if you're like me - you don't have a Twitter account because seeing what everyone has to say - "well quite frankly, my dear, I just don't give a damn." If people really wanted to know what was going on in your life, don't you think they'd pick up a phone? I mean all we do these days is text anyway... Now, don't go getting me wrong here. I have a Facebook that I update and an iPhone that i text on. I'm not against technology. I'm against the un-personalization that technology has allowed. At least on Apple products you can see someone's face again  and not have to creep on FB to do so.

Funny thing is, I never started this blog to smash the social networking sites we use today... But I have my thoughts and feelings... and rants. And if social networking gets me on a rant, I might as well blog about it. Besides, I can't say I fully knew what to blog about anyway. I'm new at this, remember?