One big QUESTION MARK

If I could portray how I feel in any way I wanted to, I would use a blank piece of paper. That's how I feel. Not empty. Blank. I think that's any important thing to clarify. I feel like that's kind of ironic given that my name is Paige, but we'll leave that alone for now. It seems like I have all sorts of options and directions I CAN go... but to can go is not the question. I will go. It's just a matter of where I will go. And at this point, I honestly have no freaking clue as to where that is. I've wanted to do and see all sorts of things. Now... the thought of it just saddens me. I feel like when I was nine I had a better idea of a direction to go. I wanted to be a veterinarian. The one thing I knew I loved was animals. I had my mind set on that for years. I wasn't one of those kids who wanted to have 15 different jobs by the time they were ten. I just wanted to be a vet. As I've 'grown-up' I've gotten more and more clueless. It reminds me of the song "All Star" by Smash Mouth. The line that has caught my attention lately is "Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb." That about sums up how I feel. 

I was talking to a co-worker this week and he had asked me if I was going to school this fall. My response? "No, I'm to cool for school." While we all know, that is partially true, that's really not why. I can't rationalize in my head going to school to get an education in something that I have no idea what I'd want an education in. I don't feel like wasting my time and money for a thing that seems so full of nonsense. That's just my choice though. I am still young. People keep telling me that I still have time. That's not really what I'm looking at though. It's not that I feel like I don't have time. I just feel like I'm rather directionless right now. Who knows... maybe I'll just end up like the wind. I go where I go and I turn when I want to turn. Hah. Just sounds a little bit like a vagabond if you ask me. I'll figure it out... Otherwise I'll go nuts.