Umm, so I have no idea what to blog about. Then again I don't really have much of any idea about anything lately. I don't really know where I'm headed or what I want to do. When I was little I wanted to be a vet when I grew up... and now, I'm basically "grown up" and have not a clue as to what I want to do. I just want to be. I'm thankful to be alive and for everyday that Im given. Why do I have to make a choice? Why do people want me to limit myself? I just want to be... whatever I will be. I feel like so much of the time people are saying "do something with your life" and yet they don't realize - I am. The worst part is their doubt in me, causes me to doubt myself. I should be able to live my life without question. I've always gotten irritated with people putting their nose in my business. And I finally figured out why - IT'S MY LIFE. Not yours. So ask if you want, but if I don't know then leave it alone. If you want me to do something, then I think you should've done it yourself. It's not my job to allow you to live vicariously through me. It's my job to allow me to live vicariously through myself.
I know this whole thing probably sounds really selfish but somethings gotta give. I've lived a huge part of my life trying to please other people. In the end no one was happy. That's how I got to where I am today and with the perspective I have today. I'm not the kind of person who will do anything to anyone to get what I want. That's just messed. But I will live for myself. I will do what I think is right. I will do what is hard. I will do what is needed and I will pick up an empty pack of cigarettes when no one is looking because it drives me nuts to see them chilling on the ground. We make a statement about ourselves everyday. And I think we need to take that statement making serious. As people, we make things a habit and don't think about it. I've forced myself to think about it. I've forced myself to pause and make a conscientious effort to realize what I'm doing and the statement it makes about the kind of person I am. I guess I really did have something to talk about. :)
Thought for next time - what's the difference between elegance and ugly?
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