Back again?

It's been a while since I've posted anything. Been a little  all over the place since then. Literally, emotionally, whatever. I went down to Florida and back, Rhode Island and back. It's not been easy lately. Sometimes I feel like it never is easy, but in the same breath I'll feel like I don't have it hard enough. I guess really it's all a matter of perspective. Seems like my perspective is almost always "I can do more." and it's trouble. I put more on myself than I need to or want to. I overwhelm myself. Everybody wants to feel important, right?
I used to think I tried to do so much to please my parents. Convince them I was "good enough". Somewhere along the way I realized it's because I'm still trying to convince myself that I'm good enough. And to think all this time, I thought it would work. I'm nineteen years old. And I feel like no matter how much I do or accomplish before I depart from this earth, it just won't be enough. It's one thing to think you  won't be enough for someone else. It's completely different to think you won't be enough for yourself. It's not a very fun thought.
I'll do a lot in my life. No matter how long or short it is. I guess all I can do is take it one day at a time, be thankful for what I have and who I am in any given moment.

I, like any one, have my good days and my bad days. My ups and my downs. It's strange because as I've gotten older my ups and downs have come closer together. You'd think it'd be just the opposite... One day will be just ok, the next great, and the next I don't want to deal with anything at all. And so the cycle goes.
I struggle with something one day, have it all figured out the next and it's back to a problem the day after. I haven't figured it out. I don't understand and it doesn't make sense to me. Today's a day where I don't want to have to deal with anything or anyone. It's more than just "I have a bad case of the Mondays."
Of course if I were to be writing this tomorrow that wouldn't be the case. How cruel life can be haha. I know it's just the way I'm looking at things. I just don't know why I'm back to this place. I feel like I'm just going around in circles and not really making any ground forward. It does me no good.
I guess I'm done for today. I'll write again when I'm in a better place. I guess old habits really do die hard.